If only you didn’t want me…
When I was a lot younger than I am now, I wanted to be older. I remember wanting to graduate when I was in school and missing the life of a student now that I’m a working adult. Do you see my point yet? As humans, it’s innate to have insatiable needs, to keep aspiring to some illusionary version of ourselves we think is perfect. These versions that we consider the upgraded us are so because they allow us to hide behind “if onlys”. If only I had that dream job, I’d be much happier. If only my life was fun, I won’t be such a drag. And one that’s even more common, if only I had my act together, I won’t be so far from God. We run away from the concept of God finding us for so many reasons.
1. Sometimes, it’s hard to wrap your mind around the fact that a God who is the creator of heaven and earth will be willing to put up with our excesses.
2. Religion dictates no mercy, and so we starve ourselves of this mercy by creating standards in our heads of who God wants us to be before we can reach him.
Swid Time with a Swid God
God doesn’t call us to a rigid perfection. He calls us instead to a relationship with Him. It’s as simple as that, really. Maybe it’s time to drop those excuses and just be. Reach out to him, talk to him and be you. To be honest, God already knows you exactly as you are and if it was possible for humans to fix the human condition, we would have done it a long time ago.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you are trying to be someone you are not? Instead of enjoying the bond and growing into a new version of yourself (the fruit of time with anyone), you spend all your time plotting or trying or aspiring to be something. So instead of becoming this new person, you start to resent the whole process and more often than not, the person you’re in a relationship with.
This is true of our relationships with God. The truth is you can never be more than you. You can’t. And you can’t fix yourself. If you’ve tried, you might have figured this one out by now. You need all the help you can get. We all do. So why not just get the only help that’s available?
It’s okay. You’re okay.
It’s okay to be flawed. It’s okay to meet God in the middle. Its okay to be flawed with God. It’s okay. Live your okay. I’m learning everyday that Christianity is living your reality hand in hand with a God that is lovestruck with me. And guess what? Yeah, you guessed it. You won’t be the only one standing in the middle. In fact, it might be ‘middle’ for you but for God, He had already reached the end of the line and given everything for you.
On the days I want to hide myself from God, I remind myself of these points. They are like refreshing water to my soul. I hope they are for you too.
The prodigal child in the Bible returned home when he realized everything was better at home. But the Father was already waiting, arms wide open, hoping, looking out at the horizon for a glimpse of his true love, in spite of his recklessness.
God’s love is forever. Forever here extends beyond time into being. It means that no matter the version of yourself that you are, God is still breathtakingly invested in you. Religion has blocked and clogged our perspective of a Father whose world revolves around you. And society doesn’t portray love as it should be. So we are left with these warped sketches of God. But you can take the step today to begin to catch a glimpse of the full picture.
God doesn’t care about your mess. He gets it. That was the entire point of Jesus coming to earth. To get your pain and understand the desires that tug at you, the cravings that are so real on some days it feels like you can’t breathe. Hebrews tells us this. He understands humanity. He understands you. And He still reaches for you. He always will.
He wants to help you love him. If you’ve ever had a guy invested in you falling for him, you might have just caught the tiniest glimpse of what God is like when you kickstart a relationship with Him. No one dotes more than the Father. No one will shower you with more affection and sweet nothings in the dead of the night. All your needs will be met, even the ones you couldn’t understand.
Maybe a Chance?
There’s such a long list of reasons to not try with God. I get it. I’ve had my list too. There are still days that list pops up in my head and drags my attention away from God. But God is kind enough to find me regardless. I’d say it’s because I decided to try with him anyway. I hope this invitation is one you cannot resist today. To be nothing other than who you truly are with a Father than thinks the world of you.